


The Moon is Full, My Arms are Empty

by TheRoyalPrussianArmy



Series: Panty Saga [4]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Clothed Sex, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Jacket Theft, M/M, Slash, Todd Brotzman feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 11:30:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12431916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRoyalPrussianArmy/pseuds/TheRoyalPrussianArmy
Summary: Dirk and Farah are gone for a case. Todd has a broken thermostat, a broken window, and a mighty cozy blanket fort. If everything is connected, maybe someone will come along and help warm him up? Or maybe things aren't as they seem...





	The Moon is Full, My Arms are Empty

**Author's Note:**

> Many thinks to Liz for being my test audience! I hope the people who read this will enjoy it as much as you did!
> 
> Reminder; don't let the actors, writers, or anyone involved with the show know about this fic! If they ever found out about this I would die c:
> 
> Title from Dixie Chicks "Cold Day in July"

The apartment was colder than a nun's tits in heaven. And that was sacrilegious, probably, but Todd had decided that if god or the universe wanted him religious he would never have been introduced to the madness that was Dirk Gently, and his apartment would be in the 80s instead of the 40s. Seattle in winter was one thing. Seattle in winter in an apartment with a broken window and busted thermostat was another. The next time the Rowdy 3 came along, Todd was going to somehow have stern words with them to leave the fucking thermostat alone. He had made a fort out of all the pillows and blankets he could spare, even going up to Dirk's mostly unused room and stealing what he could. The corner of the apartment where his bed rested was now one large fort, but it wasn't enough. Dirk had left for a case with Farah that Todd couldn't join them on, which was fine with him quite frankly he liked his alone time, but he had left a couple of his jackets. Todd crawled out of the fort like a gopher examining the ground to see if there was snow or if it was spring, hair sticking up in all directions. And... Yes. There it was. Scurrying across the cold floor in thrice-socked feet, Todd nearly slid onto the coat rack. He grabbed the jacket he wanted and then pushed off the wall, sliding back to the fort and diving in. Pulling the blanket cover down to preserve the warmth of it, he took a look at his bounty.

  
Dirk's yellow jacket.

 

Todd stared at the jacket for a moment, running his thumbs over the shoulders. It was ridiculous. The jacket was worn and showed obvious signs of abuse, but it was also taken care of despite the stains. It was loved. And it was _warm_ which was the important bit. Todd slid the jacket over his arms and then pulled it tight over his chest, sticking his nose to the collar and breathing in deep. Yep. That was the smell of Dirk. A little gross, but also comforting. He and Farah weren't due back for a few days, and Todd was all but snowed in. It would be a while before he could hug Dirk and get the smell directly from the source.

 

Which was weird and creepy, Todd told himself, as they were just friends. Good friends. Best friends. Even if Dirk did have questionable gift choices. That Todd may or may not currently be wearing.

  
He snorted and rubbed his feet together, checking his phone.

 

No new messages from Dirk or Farah. Hopefully that meant something good. Hopefully that meant that the case was going well and that they hadn't been attached by vague shapes of members of a shadow cult. Dirk had given Todd the details of what he knew of the case and he was glad to let Farah handle it. The female James Bond. Their one-woman army with anxiety. Farah deserved better than two idiots like them following her around, honestly, but Todd couldn't deny he liked her help. Liked her. She was a good friend, even if she did tell him to get his head out of his ass about Dirk, and he was certain he had no clue what she meant. At all.

 

It was weird and maybe a bit irritating that his thoughts constantly circled back to Dirk. It made sense, or so Todd told himself, because the asshole had made himself practically Todd's whole world at this point. He bothered him in the mornings with tea and coffee and declarations of why pugs were actually evil incarnate. He led Todd around during the afternoons to weird places for lunch while explaining why palm reading was an art, and while there were a bunch of fakes he had once learned how to read palms and tea leaves and it wasn't being psychic, it was just understanding the universe in different ways. He laid claim to the couch at night and mocked American television even though Todd knew British television wasn't much better. Most nights it seemed he was crashing on Todd's couch or, lately, laying claim to part of Todd's bed because he was too lazy to return to his own room and by that point Todd was too tired to care he was sharing a bed with his best friend slash crush slash biggest pain in the ass. It all kept circling around to Dirk.

 

And once it started, Todd got distracted. He wasn't really in the fort anymore, in his mind. He was watching Dirk in his apartment, moving around like he belonged there.

 _He does._ whispered part of his mind. _He belongs here, with you. Together with you._

Nope, Todd thought. But the thoughts had started. The thoughts of Dirk being there. With him. For him. And now that they'd started, he really didn't want to stop. Making sure that the fort he'd built was effectively blocking all cold air one more time, Todd slowly pushed down his loose pajama bottoms.

 

The panties had stayed, because Todd was weak, contrary to Dirk's belief. After the first few times he'd worn them, even after getting used to them and enjoying how they made his ass look, he had tried. He'd held them above the trash can more times than he could count, fist clenched and ready to open. But he never could. They had been a well-meant gift, and they were just so damn comfortable and looked good. He did, though, make sure to wear them when he knew he wouldn't be caught in them. He doubted Dirk would care - if anything, he'd be excited Todd was wearing them probably - but it still wasn't something he wanted to be caught in. For whatever reason, the thought of Dirk seeing him in the panties was... Well. Arousing, but also nerve wracking. Alone, like this, though... He could imagine. 

 

Todd ran one hand down his chest and then to his thighs, rubbing the inside of it as he closed his eyes to think. Imagine. He'd always been creative, and now it came in handy for certain.

The door would open, and Dirk would walk in, he thought. Todd would be distracted in the fort, maybe on his phone, wearing only the panties and jacket. And... There was an idea.

He paused the story in his head. It might be chilly, but he would warm himself up soon... As quick as he could manage without destroying his fort, Todd removed the socks, the pajama bottoms, and then took off the jacket to remove the long sleeved shirt he wore. He hesitated and then tossed them to the ground beside the bed, where he could reach out and pick them up once he had finished. On that note, he reached into his drawer and grabbed the lube. And then, after a bit of hesitation, the dildo that had been a gag gift from Amanda years ago. Another thing he swore he'd throw out but wound up using.

God he was weak.

Todd pulled his arm back in, put the jacket back on, and then settled back to get back into his imagination.

 

Todd wrapped the jacket around him and took a deep breath in. Dirk had worn it just before he had left so the smell of him was still quite fresh. Todd hummed.

 

Dirk would walk in, probably in the blue jacket with the patches in the shoulder. Todd would be in the fort, distracted by his phone. Candy Crush or Juice Jam, one of those games with a simple premise but made you want to break it. Dirk's yellow jacket on, and the panties, and nothing else.

  
"Fuck!" Todd would say, failing a level again. He had no clue Dirk was in the room with him. Dirk would smile, of course, because Todd's never ending feud with the games amused him to no end.

He walked over to the fort, taking note of the layout of it. And then he would open the door to it, grinning wide.

"Still having troubles, I see." Dirk would say. And then, Todd thought, and then he'd see what Todd was wearing. And Dirk's face would color, and he'd get that pleased grin that made his face light up even though his mouth was still shut. "Well." Dirk would say. "So you didn't throw them out." He would crawl into the fort, and Todd would... Well. In reality, Todd would yell at him, probably. But here, in his imagination... It was his imagination, Todd decided. No one was ever going to know about this. He backed it up a little.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Dirk walked into the apartment and shuddered. It was uncomfortably cold, and that was coming from him. Todd had to be frozen solid. At least, he assumed so, until he looked over and saw the fort that had been built. He could hear his boyfriend's muffled swearing from inside of it and grinned. Todd was playing one of those games again. One of the ones that pissed him off but he really couldn't keep away. They were simple and addicting and Todd hated them and Dirk loved to watch him hate them. He hung his jacket up on the coat rack and then bent over to carefully take his shoes off. He wanted to stay as quiet as possible, keep his return a surprise. Todd hated surprsies, and Dirk loved surprising him. Todd would just have to suck it up. He would like this one, Dirk was sure. He would like Dirk as a surprise, because if it were Dirk he'd love to have Todd as a surprise. Shoes off, he crept over to the fort. The sounds of swearing got louder as he got closer, and Dirk grinned. That was his boyfriend.

"Fuck!" Todd swore loudly. "Fucking, fuckity, fuck! How could you fucking- I didn't even move my fucking finger- you piece of shit! I didn't want that there!"

Dirk bit his lip to keep from laughing. He pulled back the blanket from where the opposite of Todd's voice had come from, just enough to peer in. Todd was sufficiently distracted by the game, and Dirk licked his lips. When Todd thought Dirk wouldn't know, he liked to put on his favorite jacket and the undies that he'd been gifted. Despite all protests otherwise Todd loved the panties. He'd even allowed Dirk to gift him a few others, but his favorites remained the original pair. It was probably the memories associated with them. Knowing he wouldn't have a lot of time, especially once he pulled the blanket-door open, Dirk shited his weight. As soon as he saw Todd's mouth open again to swear, he pulled it open and lunged forward, landing squarely on top of his boyfriend.

 

 _"Fuck!"_ Todd yelled again, this time in surprise and a bit of alarm.

Dirk laughed.

 

Todd flailed under him for a moment, phone tossed to the side, before he realized who it was on top of him. Then he turned his head and glared.

 

"Dirk, what the hell?!" He complained. "I was playing a game! I was doing good! If I lose all my progress because of you..." The threat was an empty one.

"You were yelling at the game because you couldn't beat it, don't even try to say otherwise, Todd Brotzman. If you lose your progress it's because you left your phone off the charger for too long. Not my fault at all." Dirk murmured in response. He shifted his legs a little, straddling Todd's thighs. "However, what is really interesting here is your clothing. The lack of it. And what little you are wearing, in fact, is also interesting. I do believe that is... Why, yes! It is indeed my own jacket! And covering your delectable arse... Are those _panties_ Todd Brotzman?" Dirk teased, and Todd rolled his eyes. Nuzzling at his ear, Dirk could feel the smile breaking onto Todd's face.

"You know damn well what they are, don't give me that." Todd grumbled as he shifted slightly below Dirk.

"I do. I love how you dress like this and think I'll never find out, and then I come home early and find my boyfriend in my clothes. Well, part of my clothes. Perhaps one of the most important bits of clothing I have. And _undies._ Good lord, Todd, your arse in these things..." Dirk lowered a hand and lifted his hips to properly touch them. "Delicious."

 

Todd grunted as Dirk's hand stroked almost reverently over the silkiness of the panties. "The're comfortable, and it was warm in here. I was overheating." He tried to defend himself.

 

"The jacket?" Dirk questioned, running his hand down the crease of Todd's arse. Todd was quiet for a moment.

  
"Missed you." He finally murmured. Dirk smiled and pressed his face into Todd's neck.

  
"I missed you as well. This is probably the best thing I could have found upon my return home." Dirk said into Todd's neck. He could feel Todd's desire to squirm at the way his breath ghosted over the back of his neck. The soft air tickled.

  
"You know, you said... You said that they..." Todd hesitated, swallowing. Dirk waited patiently, stroking Todd's arse patiently.  For someone who had been in a band that had been moderatly successful, Todd often got embarrassed when they spoke about sex. Dirk didn't know if it was sex with Dirk or sex in general that got him unnerved. If his assumption when they'd met had been correct, and Todd had been having boring, boring sex, it was probably the second bit. Dirk liked to experiment when they had sex. Todd, for all that he enjoyed the outcomes, was often more hesitant about it. "You said they looked delicious." Todd finally murmured. Dirk took a deep breath in.

"Are you asking me to eat you out?" He let out after a moment, the sound not dissimilar to the way a devout follower of the Lord would respond when asked to worship. Cheeks burning, Todd nodded.

 

Dirk took another deep breath in. It was something they both enjoyed, but Todd was often too nervous to ask. When he did was a rare occasion indeed. Dirk pressed a kiss to the back of his nck and gripped Todd's hips.

 

"Of course." He murmured, pleased. "Of course I wil. Absolutely. Anything for you, Todd, my love, anything at all." He could feel Todd's heart beating against his chest, rapid and nervous like a sparrow, and felt utterly honored that Todd was dating him. Dirk slid down Todd's body, running his hands down Todd's sides because he had to feel how his boyfriend wore his jacket, and then paused when he got to The Arse. If it weren't for how Todd had asked, Dirk probably would have been crouching over it, rubbing his hands together and clapping them slightly while licking his lips and hissing _"My precious."_ at his bum. As it was, he stroked his hands over the soft swells for a moment. Todd trusted him enough to ask for this. He wasn't going to make a joke out of it when he was trying so hard to get Todd to ask for more, to be a partner in this relationship. He was always so nervous, so sure he didn't deserve Dirk, that sometimes it was difficult to get the truth about how he felt about certain things out. This was a treat on multiple levels.

 

"I'll take care of you, Todd." Dirk murmured, pressing a kiss to the small of Todd's lower back. He had to push the jacket up a little to reach it properly, but did so happily. "You're so lovely. So perfect. I love it when I can make you feel good." He pulled the back of the panties down, slowly sliding them over the swell of Todd's arse. He pressed soft isses to each cheek, rubbing gently, before spreading them. Todd let out a soft moan and then hid his face. If Dirk had been up there, he would have pressed kisses to Todd's neck, his shoulders, encouraging him to make noise and let Dirk hear them. Right now he could only do so by gifting Todd with what he'd asked for.  Running his thumbs down the crevice towards Todd's hole for a moment, Dirk watched. Already he could see Todd clenching and unclenching, nervous but eager. "Such a treat." He murmured before lowering his head.

 

Dirk could always gauge how Todd was feeling that particular day about being eaten out by the noises he made the how much he twitched. He was assuming, quite accurately if Todd were the type to express his emotions more openly, that Todd had missed him quite a lot and this was a great way to welcome Dirk home. Todd would never get over just how much effort and energy Dirk put into rimming him. It was a treat for both of them, no matter who was giving and receiving. Dirk always put more energy into the action, though. He would blow across the damp skin, making goosebumps rise over Todd's back. He kissed Todd's hole, and then down his crack, over his thighs and up his cheeks and back to his entrance. Todd made the most wonderful noises- whimpers and whines, shaking as he tried to keep himself from pressing back. Dirk traced Todd's entrance before dipping his finger in his mouth. He used his other hand to reach around Todd's hips and fondle his lover's length through the panties. Ohh, there was a thought, Dirk realized. He pressed his spit-slicked finger to Todd's entrance, continuing to lick around it, while his mind was racing with the idea. He could fuck Todd while Todd wore the panties. The idea made him shiver with delight.  When Todd started mumbling about Dirk's tongue, his mouth, and the ability with which he ate ass, Dirk slowly pressd his finger in further before getting up and leaning over Todd's back. Todd turned his head, scrunching his nose a little at the proximity of Dirk's mouth to his own before eyeing him curiously.

 

"I'm going to leave these on you." Dirk said to Todd, squeezing his dick through the undies. "You're going to wear the panties and my jacket, and I'm going to fuck you with them on." Todd's cheeks turned bright red. 

 

"Are you- really? Isn't that- wouldn't it be weird?" Todd stammered out, hands clenching the pillow by his head. Dirk curved his finger inside Todd's arse and watched happily as Todd's eyes fluttered shut and he let out a soft sound.

  
"No more than fucking you normally, I should think. Maybe one day I'll buy you a pair of panties that I can fuck you through. An assless pair. Or maybe a pair I can tear open.... Hmmm... Might have to get us each some, come to think of it." Dirk murmured. He thrust his finger softly in and out of Todd's hole, stroking his insides gently. Todd whimpered a little but nodded.

  
"Both... Both sound good." He murmured, wiggling his arse against Dirk's hand. "But right now can you... Get on with it. If you're going to fuck me or just leave that there or what." He sounded a bit irritated which delighted Dirk. An irritated Todd was a comfortable Todd, and a comfortable Todd was a Todd that would let more experiments happen. Dirk kissed Todd's cheek and nodded.

  
"Yes, yes. I think I'll fuck you tonight- I really want to know how those panties will feel under my cock." He watched Todd shiver as the words came out of his mouth. Something about him swearing during sex got Todd riled up quite easily.

  
"Right. Great. Yeah, let's do that. Maybe before I die of being horny, that'd be great." Todd grumbled. Dirk laughed, removing his finger and patting Todd's arse before leaning towards the blanket door. Todd stopped him with a hand on his wrist and a sheepish look.

 

"Just..." Todd reached under the pillow and then produced their small bottle of lube. Dirk took it in amazement, looking between the blatantly smug tube and Todd's more sheepish expression.

 

"Todd Brotzman," Dirk breathed, "were you... Fucking yourself while I was gone? In your panties?"

  
"Maybe. Just a bit." Todd replied, glancing to the exit of the fort before looking back at Dirk. He turned slightly, Dirk's position over his hips keeping him mostly pinned, and gave the taller man a small smile. "I missed you. A lot." It was both sweet and a bit dirty, and Dirk felt his own cheeks heating up. He leaned down again, pressing multiple kisses all over Todd's face.

  
"Look at you, my little Todd! Missing me and telling me and imagining me when I'm gone!" Dirk praised. Todd grinned but wrinkled his nose.

  
"Maybe not, that. Too creepy. Makes you sound like an old pervert." Todd warned Dirk. Dirk nodded solemnly and wiggled down Todd's body again.

"Duly noted."

 

There wasn't as much prep done as there should have been, Dirk knew. But Todd was eager and pressing back and moaning, begging for Dirk to get on with it. He wanted it a little rough, wanted to feel Dirk stretching him out, wanted to feel it for a few days later. And, really, who was Dirk to deny him that? With two fingers comfortably seated in Todd's arse, stretching him a bit, Dirk pulled them out. He slicked up his cock while Todd stuffed a couple pillows under his hips, purposely wiggling his ass as he did so. Dirk grinned and slapped him gently, causing Todd to yelp and look back over his shoulder at  him. Dirk gave Todd an innocent expression.

 

"Come _on_ Dirk. Get inside of me, you've been gone too long."  Todd complained. Dirk smacked his arse again and rolled his eyes.

"Patience. I'm coming, don't worry your pretty little head yet." Dirk said, and Todd snorted.

"I hope you're not. I'd be concerned if you were, we haven't even really done anything."

"Todd Brotzman!" Dirk gasped. "The sass coming from you!"

_"Dirk!"_

"All right, all right. Calm down."

 

It was always a treat to fuck Todd. They loved switching things up, because doing only one thing could only get boring, but when Todd was like this... It was a treat. Dirk had barely pushed in, trying to stay slow so that he didn't hurt Todd, and Todd was already pushing back.

 

"Todd, wait. Let me do this." Dirk murmured, hunched over him.

"No," Todd grumbled in response, "I wanna feel you in me. Go faster!"

"I'm not going to move any faster and risk hurting you, you know this." Dirk nipped at the back of Todd's neck. He had a strange quirk where if Dirk bit down hard enough in just the right spot, sometimes Todd would go completely limp. He'd used it several times to get Todd to come unexpectedly. He loved the way Todd would gasp and squeeze around him, losing his breath and his voice. Truly, he thought, a lovely vision.

  
He pressed in again, as soft as he could, before pulling out. Slowly Dirk worked his way in. Todd wanted to feel it, but they'd been separated for days- practically an entire week! He couldn't help but want to savour this a bit first. Todd sighed in irritation as Dirk kept up his slow pace, stretching Todd out while he fucked into him. The panties were tight around Todd's thighs, digging in in a way that had to be uncomfortable, but Todd didn't complain. He grunted as Dirk slid his hand around to gently fist his cloth covered cock, thrusting towards the hand and then back onto Dirk's dick. Dirk sighed, pressed a kiss to Todd's ear. He truly loved this marvel of a man.

 

He could only go so slow for so long, though. And Todd wanted to feel him, was pushing back and squeezing around him. They needed more, just a bit more. He sped up his pace slightly. Not too much, not like an animal, but in a way that pressed Todd forward into his hand, and brought him back with the movement. They rocked together, murmuring words to each other. Dirk lowered the hand holding Todd's hip to rest over Todd's hand, watching as Todd closed their fingers together and stroked Dirk's hand with his thumb. He felt Todd's hips rocking into the hand resting over his dick, heard the little grunts when he would graze Todd's prostate. Little sounds, little hitches of breath and emotion that reminded Dirk of why they were together. Todd, for all his faults, loved Dirk. He gave back in the only way he knew how- silently, still so certain he didn't deserve things. One day, Dirk would figure out how to make him see that he did. Todd deserved many things, beautiful things. Todd deserved all the love in the world. For now, Dirk could only try to help him see that. 

 

Gradually he increased his pace, rocking their hips together faster. He began to pump his hand slowly, and then faster, over Todd's length. Instead of pulling out which each thrust, he would press in and grind for a few moments, circling his hips against Todd's, before pulling out again and repeating the pattern. Todd's words of affection were beginning to crack and break. He was biting his lip, clenching around Dirk, trying to keep himself together. Dirk rested his face in Todd's hair and smiled.

 

"Look at you," Dirk murmured, "one day I'll have to find a mirror. I'll have to find something so that you can see the way you look like this. The way you bite your lip, and close your eyes. You try so hard to give me everything, don't you? You do, Todd, you do. You give me everything. You've given me your home and your heart. You give me your body. I love you, Todd. I love the way you look in the morning, when it looks like a bird has nested in your hair. I love the way you glare at Starbucks because it's overpriced bean water. I love the way you keep me from walking into traffic. I love the way you trip up the stairs coming in with groceries sometimes because you stack them so high you can see over them. I love how you leave your jacket laying around and insist I do it. I love how you have to put everything else in it's place. I love that you made this fort with blankets and things from each of our rooms. You made a home made of us. How could I not love that? How could I not love you?" The words were delivered right into Todd's ear, and he whimpered. Dirk pressed tight up against Todd's arse. He thrust in and held there for a moment before pulling out just a inch and pressing in again, rubbing against him. "I love this. I love you. I love coming home to you in my clothes. I love making love to you." There were tears leaking out of Todd's eyes and Dirk kissed them away. He squeezed around Todd's dick, stroking his thumb up the side, and then began short, quick humps in earnest. "Come on, Todd. Let me feel you. Let me feel you come Todd." He purred. It didn't take too much longer till Todd came, crying out softly, whimpering around the tears. Dirk pressed in, grinding, enjoying how Todd clenched around him. "So beautiful." Dirk murmured, and then stilled a moment as Todd looked over his shoulder at him. Todd pressed at Dirk's shoulder, having Dirk move off until he could turn onto his back.

 

"Christ, don't stop yet Dirk." Todd said, and Dirk felt his breath catch. Todd was tired, yet here he was, asking for more. Asking for Dirk to finish. He ducked his head into the crook of Todd's neck and humped slightly. "Don't stop. I want to feel you. I want to feel you in me, please. I love it, I need it. I need to feel you, I need to know you're with me. Please, Dirk, please, come in me, _Dirk_ -"

 

  
That did it. Dirk pressed in once more, face ducked into Todd's neck, teeth clenched around his collar bone, and came.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Todd opened his eyes and gasped as he came imagining Dirk coming inside of him. The dildo was pressed in, fake balls to his ass. He put a hand over his mouth to keep himself from crying out. For a moment, for a split second, he was almost able to believe it. He had almost been able to believe Dirk was there with him, hovering over him, telling him that he loved Todd. Limp, weak, and emotional from the fantasy and the orgasm, Todd turned his face over into the pillow. He removed the dildo, feeling himself clenching around empty air, and set it down by the fort's blanket-door he'd set up. Then he pulled Dirk's jacket around him tighter and let the tears fall. Maybe, he told himself, he could imagine for just a bit longer. He could pretend Dirk was here with him and loved him, for just a bit longer. He tried to bring up Dirk the way he'd been imagining him- dorky smile, mussed hair, still clothed. But he couldn't find it anymore- the love he'd been imagining, the love he'd felt- brought back to the real world, where the outside was cold and where Dirk certainly wasn't with him, he couldn't see it anymore. The expression was there, was correct, but the love he'd felt, he'd seen- the tenderness and the care, it was gone.

 

  
Todd pressed his face into the pillow and sobbed.

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to try to make it happy, and then Todd didn't want to. My bad. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe he'll get to be happy one day...
> 
> Spacing might be weird because it was written in discord and then copied and pasted to docs, and then fixed there and copied and pasted to here. Copying and pasting stuff is weird, friends.


End file.
